Now Playing Tracks

  • Socialism:

    You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

  • Communism:

    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

  • Fascism:

    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

  • Nazism:

    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

  • Bureaucratism:

    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

  • Traditional Capitalism:

    You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

  • An American Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

  • A French Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

  • Japanese Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

  • An Italian Corporation:

    You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

  • A Swiss Corporation:

    You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

  • Chinese Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

  • An Iraqi Corporation:

    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......

  • Counter Culture:

    'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

  • Surrealism:

    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

  • Apathyologism:

    You have 2 cows. You do not care.

  • Fatalist:

    You have 2 doomed cows...

  • Atheism:

    You have 2 cows. There is no God.

  • A West-Country Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

  • A Brazilian Corporation:

    You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

  • Russia:

    You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.

  • PETA:

    You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

  • Moffat:

    You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.

  • Hussie:

    You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.

  • Romney:

    You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

  • Once-ler:

    You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.

  • Old Spice:

    You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

  • An Irish Corporation:

    You have a million cows because they're everywhere

  • Tumblr:

    You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

  • Also Tumblr:

    I give you a hamburger.

  • Night Vale:

    You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?

  • Tom Hiddleston:

    You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.

  • Thranduil:

    You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.

  • Dwarves:

    You had two cows but now they're on fire.

  • Bilbo Baggins:

    You did not invite those two cows for dinner.

  • Cows:

    The shit you go through.

  • This post:

    Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

Let's get weird please ask!!!

  • 1) Sexuality?

  • 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

  • 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

  • 4) What do you think about most?

  • 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

  • 6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

  • 7) What's your strangest talent?

  • 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)

  • 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

  • 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

  • 11) Do you have any strange phobias?

  • 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

  • 13) What's your religion?

  • 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

  • 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

  • 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

  • 17) What was the last lie you told?

  • 18) Do you believe in karma?

  • 19) What does your URL mean?

  • 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

  • 21) Who is your celebrity crush?

  • 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

  • 23) How do you vent your anger?

  • 24) Do you have a collection of anything?

  • 25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

  • 26) Are you happy with the person you've become?

  • 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

  • 28) What's your biggest "what if"?

  • 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

  • 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

  • 31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

  • 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

  • 33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

  • 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

  • 35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

  • 36) Define Art.

  • 37) Do you believe in luck?

  • 38) What's the weather like right now?

  • 39) What time is it?

  • 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

  • 41) What was the last book you read?

  • 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

  • 43) Do you have any nicknames?

  • 44) What was the last movie you saw?

  • 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

  • 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

  • 47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

  • 48) What's your sexual orientation?

  • 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

  • 50) Do you believe in magic?

  • 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

  • 52) What is your astrological sign?

  • 53) Do you save money or spend it?

  • 54) What's the last thing you purchased?

  • 55) Love or lust?

  • 56) In a relationship?

  • 57) How many relationships have you had?

  • 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

  • 59) Where were you yesterday?

  • 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

  • 61) Are you wearing socks right now?

  • 62) What's your favorite animal?

  • 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

  • 64) Where is your best friend?

  • 65) Spit or swallow?(;

  • 66) What is your heritage?

  • 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

  • 68) What do you think is Satan's last name?

  • 69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

  • 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

  • 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

  • 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

  • 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

  • 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

  • 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

  • 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

  • 77) How can I win your heart?

  • 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

  • 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

  • 80) What size shoes do you wear?

  • 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

  • 82) What is your favorite word?

  • 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

  • 84) What is a saying you say a lot?

  • 85) What's the last song you listened to?

  • 86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

  • 87) What is your current desktop picture?

  • 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

  • 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

  • 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

  • 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

  • 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

  • 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

  • 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

  • 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

  • 96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

  • 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

  • 98) Ever been on a plane?

  • 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

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